Payton34 Fantasy Football - 2013 Season

We're a Yahoo league:

I use this auxiliary page to 1) communicate with my league home fries and 2) archive league action over time. My website theme this year: as simple and crappy as possible. How'd I do? (he he)

Here are the sections you'll find below:

Draft Order ... Draft Time and Place ... Draft Results ... Draft Fun
Owner Bios ... Final Standings ... All-Payton34 Team
Playoffs: Wildcard ... Playoffs: Semifinals ... Playoffs: Championship!

Questions, comments, ideas... email me:

thanks... yow, bill

Steve Largent, Seattle Seahawk

Draft Order

Here's the draft order for 2013:

  1. Tom - Van Buren Jag
  2. Joe - No-Brainer
  3. Rob - Metal Militia
  4. Aaron - Palatine
  5. Bill - Naperville Cootie
  6. Daryl - Lawn Ranger
  7. Poap - Melonville
  8. Ryan - Hobo
  9. Angeero - Plano Tiburon (NEWBIE!)
  10. Commish - KGG
  11. Justin - Mini-Commish
  12. Jay - Streamwood
  13. Myles - Air Jordan
  14. Ty - Chicago

Remember - we'll use a straight up and down draft... same as last year.

Remember #2 - our lineups: QB, 2 RB, 2 WR, TE, flex RB/WR, K, Def. We'll also pick 5 bench players. That's a total of 14 rounds.

Ed McCaffrey, Denver Bronco

Draft Time and Place

This is it.

We have only one rule change/issue to vote on. The proposal: Change the flex position from RB/WR to RB/WR/TE.

The rationale for doing this is that it allows teams to play two TE's if they want (just like the Patties used to). I'll try and do an email vote, so that people can adjust for the draft.

Jordy Nelson, Green Bay Packer

Draft Results

Great draft manly men! Go!

Here's the original Poap yellow pad text:

Rounds 1-4
Rounds 5-9
Rounds 10-14

And here's my Yahoo results grab:

Rounds 1-6
Rounds 7-12
Rounds 13 and 14

Yahoo grades your draft this year. They hail the Palatine and Van Buren drafts with an A+ grade. Hrmph.

Yahoo draft grades

Thank everyone. We're a draft machine after all these years. Good luck to all and let the 2013 Payton34 season begin!

Wes Welker, New England Patties

Draft Fun

Here are some shenanigans before the draft.

In an attempt to intimidate the competition, Ty shows up as Bill Belichick... complete with hoodie, headset, and contemplative scowl.

Ty as Bill Belichick

Anticipating losing seasons, the KGG and Naperville each wore NY Jet jerseys to the draft... #36 J Leonard and #19 Keyshawn.

Me and The Commish in NY Jet jerseys

And of course, we bow down to our better in every way... last year's REPEAT champion, Ty!

Ty, our reigning champion

Ty, back-to-back titles

Ty is in hot pursuit of an unprecedented three-peat this year.
To that I say - No way, Jose!!!

peace... yow, bill

Danny Amendola, St. Louis Ram

Owner Bios

I've gotten a few emails asking who's who in our league. When you're playing fantasy football, it's nice to know who's brains you're beating in. So, I put this list together.

This list is Bill-centric, describing everyone in terms of their relationship to me. This seemed to make the most sense. It also feeds my bloated ego. The list is also chronological, in terms of when I met everyone. Pretty much.


Fred Biletnikoff, Oakland Raider

Final Standings

The final regular season standings.

The 2013 regular season was almost perfectly rational. By that I mean:

The 5-8 CADET actually scored 11 points more than the Harper Hawk (693 to 682). The CADET were the league's weirdest team. They lost 8 of their first 9 ballgames, and then finished the season winning 4 in a row.

Eric Decker, Denver Bronco

All-Payton34 Team

The 2013 All-Payton34 Team are the top-scoring players at each position after our 13 week regular season. Go!

2013 All-Payton34 Team

Pos Player (NFL team) Team Points
QB Peyton (den) Lawn Ranger 218
WR Megatron (det) CADET 129
WR Dem Thomas (den) Van Buren Jag 108
RB Jamaal Charles (kan) Mini Commish 124
RB AP (min) Van Buren Jag 122
TE Jimmy Graham (nor) Driftless Pony Team 116
Flex Matt Forte (bear) Lawn Ranger 107
K Gosty (nwe) Metal Militia 126
Def Kansas City (kan) Plano Tiburon 110

You 2013 Payton34 MVP is Peyton Manning of the Lawn Ranger with 218 points. So much for not taking a QB with your first pick, eh. The Lawn Ranger made the playoffs (finishing 5th) and scored the 2nd most points in the league.

Usually on these "all" teams there's a surprise or two. Not this year. The lowest draft pick in this list is Dem Thomas, who was taken first in the 3rd round.

Here's the All-P34 second team.

2013 All-P34 2nd Team

Pos Player (NFL team) Team Points
QB Drew Brees (nor) Da No Brainer 174
WR Josh Gordon (cle) Van Buren Jag 102
WR Brandon Marshall (bear) Harper Hawk 99
RB Knowshon Moreno (den) Lawn Ranger 117
RB Beast Mode (sea) KGG Football 113
TE Vernon Davis (sfo) Melonville LaRue 89
Flex Shady McCoy (phi) Streamwood Streamer 97
K S Hauschka (sea) Melonville LaRue 120
Def Dallas (dal) Melonville LaRue 92

And some honorable mentions...

Julian Edeleman, New England Patriot

Zee Playoffs - Round 1, Wildcard!

Our top teams are on bye week: #1 Mini Commish and #2 Melonville LaRue.

Wildcard weekend featured strong victories by our two underdogs. The #5 and #6 seeds advance!

Let's go to the videotape... here are the boxscores.

Lawn Ranger 91, Harper Hawk 64

Summary: It was all in the family as the Lawn Ranger (father) shellacked the Harper Hawk (son). The Lawn Ranger features Peyton Manning and the top two Bears (Forte, Alshon) in an explosive lineup. Who was that masked man?

Da No Brainer 66, Van Buren Jaguar 61

Summary: It was a bitter end for the league's high-scoring team, the Jag. Van Buren's #1 overall pick AP went down to injury. His goose egg cost the Jag in their 5 point loss. No Brainer QB Drew Brees led the scoring with 22 points as the #6 seed advances.

zee playoffs... yow, bill

Johnny Morris, Chicago Bear

Zee Playoffs - Round 2, Semifinals!

The top two seeds, the favorites, flexed their muscles on their way to the title game next week.

Read on!

Mini Commish 108, Lawn Ranger 62

Summary: The Mini's 108 points smashed the Lawn Ranger and the old record for points scored in a playoff game: 88 points by the Chicage Cake in last years finals. Mini MVP Jamaal Charles led the way with 5 TD and 40 total points! It was a statement game for the #1 seed. And that statement is... pain!

Melonville LaRue 75, Da No Brainer 41

Summary: The LaRue powered to victory while the No Brainer listed adrift in the open seas. Featuring a balanced attack, Melonville had 6 players score 9 points or more.

thanks... yow, bill

Raymond Berry, Baltimore Colt

Zee Playoffs - Final Round, Championship!

Well, this is easy. The top two teams in the league, our best teams, play for all the marbles.

The LaRue beat the Mini way back in week 1 93-51, so Melonville owns the tiebreaker.

Historically, the stakes are high. Neither team has won a Payton34 fantasy football title before. Each owner, however, has won a fantasy baseball championship.

It's Wed... the championship is so close that Yahoo makes a confusing prediction. Yahoo predicts the Mini will outscore the LaRue 66-65. But Yahoo makes LaRue the 51% favorite. Scratch scratch?!?!?

Zee playoffs!

Mini win!!!

Mini-Commish 62, Melonville LaRue 42

Summary: All year, the Champion Mini have performed. The title game was no different. The Mini were led by superstar Jamaal Charles with 12 points. QB Nick Foles added 12 in the Sunday Night game to seal the deal. On a P Rivers to K Allen TD pass, the LaRue pulled even Sunday afternoon 41-41... but it was not meant to be as Melonville would go on to only score one more point on the day.

Congrats to Justin and the Mini... our 2013 Payton34 Champion!

Here's Justin's complete march to glory... the full Yahoo playoff bracket:

thanks... yow, bill

Riley Cooper, Phil Eagle

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