| When: | 8:00 a.m. CDT, Aug 29, 1998 (yes that's "a.m." as in 8 in the morning) | 
| Where: | just beyond the fence around civilization | 
| Who: | the arrogant, over-weight, cigar-chomping owners of UFFL teams | 
| What: | NFL players were selected for the 1998 UFFL season, insults were slung, coffees were had | 
| Why: | undetermined | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 1 | sou | Favre, B | GB | QB | 
| peo | Davis, T | DEN | RB | |
| bla | Stewart, K | PIT | QB | |
| bos | Bledsoe, D | NE | QB | |
| mce | Freeman, A | GB | WR | |
| loc | McNair, S | TEN | QB | |
| mad | Sanders, B | DET | RB | |
| lag | Brunell, M | JAC | QB | |
| bol | Bettis, J | PIT | RB | |
| roc | Young, S | SF | QB | |
| ham | Martin, C | NYJ | RB | |
| min | George, J | OAK | QB | |
| jol | Carter, C | MIN | WR | |
| coa | Moore, H | DET | WR | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 2 | sou | Smith, R | DEN | WR | 
| peo | Thigpen, Y | TEN | WR | |
| bla | Galloway, J | SEA | WR | |
| bos | Brown, T | OAK | WR | |
| mce | Watters, R | SEA | RB | |
| loc | Dunn, W | TB | RB | |
| mad | Moon, W | SEA | QB | |
| lag | George, E | TEN | RB | |
| bol | Elway, J | DEN | QB | |
| roc | Dillon, C | CIN | RB | |
| ham | Kaufman, N | OAK | RB | |
| min | Pickens, C | CIN | WR | |
| jol | Alstott, M | TB | RB | |
| coa | Rice, J | SF | WR | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 3 | sou | Jett, J | OAK | WR | 
| peo | Bruce, I | STL | WR | |
| bla | Abdul-Jabbar, K | MIA | RB | |
| bos | Smith, A | BUF | RB | |
| mce | Anderson, J | ATL | RB | |
| loc | Johnson, K | NYJ | WR | |
| mad | Martin, T | ATL | WR | |
| lag | Irvin, M | DAL | WR | |
| bol | Glenn, T | NE | WR | |
| roc | Smith, J | JAC | WR | |
| ham | Johnson, B | MIN | QB | |
| min | Faulk, M | IND | RB | |
| jol | Smith, R | MIN | RB | |
| coa | Brooks, R | GB | WR | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 4 | sou | Reed, J | MIN | WR | 
| peo | Coates, B | NE | TE | |
| bla | Smith, E | DAL | RB | |
| bos | Hearst, G | SF | RB | |
| mce | Lane, F | CAR | RB | |
| loc | Marino, D | MIA | QB | |
| mad | Lewis, J | BAL | WR | |
| lag | Cunningham, R | DAL | K | |
| bol | Owens, T | SF | WR | |
| roc | Stewart, J | JAC | RB | |
| ham | Hollis, M | JAC | K | |
| min | Jackson, M | BAL | WR | |
| jol | Means, N | SD | RB | |
| coa | Dudley, R | OAK | TE | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 5 | sou | Levens, D | GB | RB | 
| peo | Manning, P | IND | QB | |
| bla | Alexander, D | KC | WR | |
| bos | Moore, R | ARZ | WR | |
| mce | Plummer, J | ARZ | QB | |
| loc | Rison, A | KC | WR | |
| mad | McKnigh, Jt | SEA | WR | |
| lag | Allen, T | WAS | RB | |
| bol | Elam, J | DEN | K | |
| roc | Harrison, M | IND | WR | |
| ham | Johnson, C | PIT | WR | |
| min | Garner, C | PHI | RB | |
| jol | Emanuel, B | TB | WR | |
| coa | Rhett, E | BAL | RB | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 6 | sou | Murrell, A | ARZ | RB | 
| peo | McCardell, K | JAC | WR | |
| bla | Hanson, J | DET | K | |
| bos | Chmura, M | GB | TE | |
| mce | Grbac, E | KC | QB | |
| loc | Sharpe, S | DEN | TE | |
| mad | Johnson, R | BUF | QB | |
| lag | Morton, J | DET | WR | |
| bol | Moss, R | MIN | WR | |
| roc | Fryar, I | PHI | WR | |
| ham | Reed, A | BUF | WR | |
| min | Taylor, F | JAC | RB | |
| jol | Frerotte, G | WAS | QB | |
| coa | Mitchell, S | DET | QB | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 7 | sou | Gonzalez, T | KC | TE | 
| peo | Aikman, T | DAL | QB | |
| bla | Conway, C | CHI | WR | |
| bos | Longwell, R | GB | K | |
| mce | McDuffie, O | MIA | WR | |
| loc | Leaf, R | SD | QB | |
| mad | Bennett, D | KC | RB | |
| lag | Carruth, R | CAR | WR | |
| bol | Banks, T | STL | QB | |
| roc | Walls, W | CAR | TE | |
| ham | Dyson, K | TEN | WR | |
| min | McCaffrey, E | DEN | WR | |
| jol | Blanchard, C | IND | K | |
| coa | Holcombe, R | STL | RB | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 8 | sou | Sanders, F | ARZ | WR | 
| peo | Stoyanovich, P | KC | K | |
| bla | Mathis, T | ATL | WR | |
| bos | Smith, L | NO | RB | |
| mce | Shaw, C | NE | RB | |
| loc | Barber, T | NYG | RB | |
| mad | Avery, J | MIA | RB | |
| lag | Edwards, R | NE | RB | |
| bol | Way, C | NYG | RB | |
| roc | Vinatieri, A | NE | K | |
| ham | Harbaugh, J | BAL | QB | |
| min | Dilfer, T | TB | QB | |
| jol | Shepherd, L | WAS | WR | |
| coa | DelGreco, A | TEN | K | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 9 | sou | Mare, O | MIA | K | 
| peo | Enis, C | CHI | RB | |
| bla | Blackwell, W | PIT | WR | |
| bos | O'Donnell, N | CIN | QB | |
| mce | Mayes, D | GB | WR | |
| loc | Stokes, J | SF | WR | |
| mad | Calloway, C | NYG | WR | |
| lag | Collins, K | CAR | QB | |
| bol | Hall, J | NYJ | K | |
| roc | Westbrook, M | WAS | WR | |
| ham | Jefferson, S | NE | WR | |
| min | Harris , R | GB | RB | |
| jol | Anders , K | KC | RB | |
| coa | Drayton, T | MIA | TE | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 10 | sou | Green, E | BAL | TE | 
| peo | DENVER | DEN | DEF/ST | |
| bla | KANSAS CITY | KC | DEF/ST | |
| bos | Scott, D | CIN | WR | |
| mce | PITTSBURGH | PIT | DEF/ST | |
| loc | CAROLINA | CAR | DEF/ST | |
| mad | Kasay, J | CAR | K | |
| lag | Green, Y | MIA | WR | |
| bol | GREEN BAY | GB | DEF/ST | |
| roc | SAN FRANCISCO | SF | DEF/ST | |
| ham | ARIZONA | ARZ | DEF/ST | |
| min | Daluiso, B | NYG | K | |
| jol | TAMPA BAY | TB | DEF/ST | |
| coa | Jones, F | SD | TE | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 11 | sou | NY JETS | NYJ | DEF/ST | 
| peo | Pathon, J | IND | WR | |
| bla | Warren, C | DAL | RB | |
| bos | Kennison, E | STL | WR | |
| mce | Brown, T | NE | WR | |
| loc | Hilliard, I | NYG | WR | |
| mad | Smith, I | SF | TE | |
| lag | WASHINGTON | WAS | DEF/ST | |
| bol | Anthony, R | TB | WR | |
| roc | Chrebet, W | NYJ | WR | |
| ham | Metcalf, E | ARZ | WR | |
| min | Dungy, T | TB | COACH | |
| jol | Still, B | SD | WR | |
| coa | Hoying, B | PHI | QB | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 12 | sou | Chandler, C | ATL | QB | 
| peo | MINNESOTA | MIN | DEF/ST | |
| bla | Kramer, E | CHI | QB | |
| bos | Mariucci, S | SF | COACH | |
| mce | Schottenheimer, M | KC | COACH | |
| loc | Green, D | MIN | COACH | |
| mad | Early, Q | BUF | WR | |
| lag | Sanders, C | TEN | WR | |
| bol | Holmgren, M | GB | COACH | |
| roc | Foley, G | NYJ | QB | |
| ham | Shanahan, M | DEN | COACH | |
| min | JACKSONVILLE | JAC | DEF/ST | |
| jol | Cowher, B | PIT | COACH | |
| coa | Anderson, G | MIN | K | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 13 | sou | Andersen, M | ATL | K | 
| peo | Hawkins, C | PIT | WR | |
| bla | Parcells, B | NYJ | COACH | |
| bos | Centers, L | ARZ | RB | |
| mce | Stover, M | BAL | K | |
| loc | Boniol, C | PHI | K | |
| mad | Christie, S | BUF | K | |
| lag | Gailey, C | DAL | COACH | |
| bol | Wheatley, T | NYG | RB | |
| roc | Peterson, T | SEA | K | |
| ham | Dilger, K | IND | TE | |
| min | Johnson, N | PIT | K | |
| jol | Kanell, D | NYG | QB | |
| coa | Erickson, D | SEA | COACH | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 14 | sou | Coughlin, T | JAC | COACH | 
| peo | Mora, J | IND | COACH | |
| bla | Wilkins, J | STL | K | |
| bos | Hanspard, B | ATL | RB | |
| mce | Graham, J | BAL | RB | |
| loc | Floyd, W | CAR | RB | |
| mad | Marchibroda, T | BAL | COACH | |
| lag | Hastings, A | NO | WR | |
| bol | Nash, M | DEN | WR | |
| roc | Ross, B | DET | COACH | |
| ham | Brown, G | NYG | RB | |
| min | Moore, D | TB | TE | |
| jol | Becksvoort, J | SF | K | |
| coa | NY GIANTS | NYG | DEF/ST | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 15 | sou | Morris, B | CHI | RB | 
| peo | Harris, J | TEN | TE | |
| bla | Hill , G | ? | RB | |
| bos | Ritchie, W | SF | K | |
| mce | Pelfrey, D | CIN | K | |
| loc | Green, E | IND | WR | |
| mad | NEW ENGLAND | NE | DEF/ST | |
| lag | Carney, J | SD | K | |
| bol | Husted, M | TB | K | |
| roc | Graham, J | PHI | WR | |
| ham | Beasley, F | SF | RB | |
| min | Bruener, M | PIT | TE | |
| jol | Ford, C | OAK | K | |
| coa | Carter, K | CIN | RB | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 16 | sou | Sheehee, R | KC | RB | 
| peo | Nedney, J | ARZ | K | |
| bla | Wycheck, F | TEN | TE | |
| bos | ST. LOUIS | STL | DEF/ST | |
| mce | Toomer, A | NYG | WR | |
| loc | Biakabatuka, T | CAR | RB | |
| mad | Mitchell, B | WAS | RB | |
| lag | TENNESSEE | TEN | DEF/ST | |
| bol | Cunningham, R | MIN | QB | |
| roc | Zellars, R | NO | RB | |
| ham | Johnson, J | MIA | COACH | |
| min | Fassel, J | NYG | COACH | |
| jol | Turner, N | WAS | COACH | |
| coa | Coslet, B | CIN | COACH | 
| Team | Player | NFL | Position | |
| Round 17 | sou | SAN DIEGO | SD | DEF/ST | 
| peo | Davis, W | TEN | WR | |
| bla | Staley, D | PHI | RB | |
| bos | Zolak, S | NE | QB | |
| mce | Jordan, C | MIA | WR | |
| loc | Thomas, T | BUF | RB | |
| mad | Kitna, J | SEA | QB | |
| lag | Gilbride, K | SD | COACH | |
| bol | Gruden, J | OAK | COACH | |
| roc | Detmer, T | SF | QB | |
| ham | Blanton, S | WAS | K | |
| min | MIAMI | MIA | DEF/ST | |
| jol | Kinchen, T | ATL | TE | |
| coa | Pederson, D | GB | QB | 
Last Updated on 9/3/98 
By William T Krieger