John Raimondo... Mar
I mean Eight
Who the??? What kind of
a??? You can't do that to a??? Oh
sorry. Let me step
back from coaching a team of underachieving losers to
write some notes for the NIBL. (deep breath)
Unfortunately it looks
like we were unable to keep out the influence of the
Gambino family. Yes, once again organized crime has
infiltrated the ranks of the NIBL. How else do you
explain West Chicago and Aruba running away with their
respective divisions? We've all met these two guys, and
we know it's certainly not talent or brains. A sighting
of Tony Gambino at the sports book in Ceasar's Palace
doesn't help their case.
looks like you did pretty well
today. What did you do bet on Weber State?"
"No, I don't get involved until the Elite 8.
This is all NIBL money baby."
"NIBL money? You know that league isn't real.
They just pick a bunch of NBA guys and add the
numbers together. The whole thing is just
"Is this money real you f***in little punk? This
is much easier than the NBA. I just have to talk to a
couple of guys to influence a game instead of the
whole team. Do you really think either West Chicago
or Aruba would do a damn thing without my influence?
Look at West Chicago. A team of punks and losers. I
don't know who picked that team but have I had to
pull strings to get them to win. All I need is the
word from Don Fenton and I'll have his GM taken care
of. Iverson, Payton and Kemp? It would be easier to
get a winner out of Huey, Dewey and Louie for pete's
sake. And Aruba
that guy is not getting to pick
his team next year. Look at that starting line up.
Two old guys with bad backs, a punk point guard and
some guy who reads a book while he shoots free
throws. That team couldn't beat a rug with a stick.
Bill has got to avoid the drugs before he drafts.
"But if it's so much work to make winner's out
of these guys why
"Hey, keep out of my bedroom
Hey shut your damn
little mouth before I gotta have you taken
sorry I asked. So you must be
cleaning up pretty good this year."
"Yeah, the only thing that cost me was that damn
Shell Evans. She better be looking over her shoulder
if you know what I mean. "
"Anyone you're worried about?"
"I don't worry about anyone, they worry about me
got it? Joliet came out of nowhere. I might have to
calm this guy down a little. As for Baghdad I'll be
damned if I'm gonna let some commie lovin' fruitcake
foreigner win squat. I'll put a cap in him myself
before I let that happen."
"Well good luck Tony. You really need it."
"Why don't you cram it up your ass."
Anything else to report?
Not really. With the exception of the big fix, Joliet,
Baghdad and Shorewood's drubbing of the two commissioners
(you haven't lived until you're niece's grandmother yells
"LOSER" across a room of 40 people the second
your head appears in the door) everything has pretty much
gone as Mr. Gambino has planned. The rest of the league
seems to be stuck in a mire or mediocrity where we're all
flop back and forth between losing big and winning big.
Can we all possibly be this inconsistent? Is there really
any doubt that this isn't one big fix? How is my 10th
round pick my most consistent player? What the deal?
What's the buzz? What's the problem? Where's my mob
connections? How come I wasn't appointed one at the
draft? "F" Aruba and "F" West
p.s. Bill - If you beat me
by more than 50 I'm not sure what I'll do, but I
guarantee you won't like it!!!