The Nonsensical Ravings, cont.
Rob Reed... Apr 23, 1999
Dearest NIBL... I am currently in between electro-shock therapy and while lucid, I would like to take a moment and respond to the latest charges from Matunuck.
There is a beautiful picture of Matunuck posted on the NIBL site which, according to Mr. Georgi, it features me. That charge is absolutely true and, might I add, it is of my best side, MY BACK SIDE! But, of "looking for the brown spot" remark, that is defamation and I resent it. I know all about brown spots.
You might ask, "What is this guy's fascination with asses?" Well, in the picture, you will notice a large, protruding object. That is my personal Anal Adapter Accessory (or AAA as I call it). The AAA is always in place as I travel from NIBL city to NIBL city. It's purpose you ask? Well, I go back to my original premise that NIBL owners intentionally run up the score on my players in order to inflict anal injury to me. In each case, I must prepare to take it up the rear. My AAA allows me to stay flexible for large NIBL owners like Aruba....no no, just kidding...Aruba's actually the smallest among you so far!!! No, owners like West Chicago really can hurt me, so my AAA helps me remain accommodating for each week's game.
I still haven't answered the ass question? OK, it is just that where else can you screw me? My ear...My eye socket..Oh no. You all have to give it to me where each person has some of the most extensive nerve ending per square inch on the human body...Didn't know that did you? It's true..Look it up.
So... With Diablo set to enter me after tonight...and only two weeks left in the season, I am looking forward to stowing my AAA for the summer and recruiting some new players for next year.
Personally, I hope to wear my AAA only six to eight weeks next year. I hope I enlightened you all and please, feel free (Diablo & Sioux City) to contact me for a custom-made AAA for your own use. It takes a while to get used to, but after a while it's like just another appendage.