Dia - Blow Out!

Bill Krieger... May 2, 1999

The Wild West

West Chicago was again sent packing to the shelter this week by a non-playoff team. Who'd-a-thunk the WifeBeater, after reeling off 10 straight victories, would lose two in a row! Following the Beater's shocker last week to Walla Walla, this time it was a loss to the lowly Diablo Spawn 318-293.

The win puts Diablo at 4-8 for the season far surpassing the expectations of almost all NIBL prognosticators after the confusion that plagued Diablo on draft day. "I could have sworn I had a good team," said Danny Bruessel. "Who knew Dominique Wilkins wouldn't be starting this year? Anyway, I'm eating healthier now, and I hope next year to have fewer carcinogens clouding my thought process."

"Diablo is a mess," remarked one NIBL source. "I like Danny, but that team... forget it. I don't know what he was thinking."

West Chicago owner Don Fenton was unphased by the loss. "We're really gearing up more for the playoffs... and Aruba. Krieger's team is a fucking sham and he personally is a jag... you know it, I know it, and he knows it. We'll pummel Aruba next week and sweep the playoffs to our ultimate victory! Victory, I tell you."

Strong words... out calls to the Aruba headquarters have so far gone unanswered.

That's not all the happened in the West... You'd think Elk Grove would be sunk without their one-man-gang Chris Webber... right? Well, Joliet fixed that up right quick because not only was C-Web racking up a week's worth of zeros, so were Joliet stars Zo Mourning, Alan Henderson, and Rasheed Wallace. The result of this zero-fest... Cougar win! Elk Grove (back fom the fucking dead) is now in the driver's seat for second place in the West.

Tidying up the East

The East... it's a mess.

The reigning NIBL champion DogEaters continue their ferocious comeback with a 296-262 victory that gnawed Matunuck right out of the playoff picture. Aruba thonged Baghdad back to the pack with an awesome display of NIBL power 313-282.

The Thong look primed for the playoffs, but against who. Four teams are tied for second place with 7-5 records. The tiebreakers are making me nauseous, so you figure it out. Here's the head-to-head table...

Next week's games are shown below, but let's try a couple of scenarios here... First off, assume that Vegas beats Sioux City. Go!

• If Manila beats Baghdad and Cap City wins, then it's a three-way tie. Each team in the tie is 1-1, so the next tiebreaker is head-to-head points: Cap City 571, Manila 577, Vegas 568. Manila would be in.
• If Manila beats Baghdad and Cap City loses, then Manila beat Vegas head-to-head and Manila would be in again.
• If Baghdad beats Manila and Cap City wins, then it's a three-way tie. Again, each team is 1-1, so go to the head-to-head points: Baghdad 570, Cap City 581, Vegas 555. Cap City would be in.
• If Baghdad beats Manila and Cap City loses, then Baghdad beat Vegas head-to-head and Baghdad would be in the playoffs.

OK, for grins, if Vegas loses....

• If Manila beats Baghdad and Cap City wins, then Cap City beat Manila and Cap City would be in.
• If Manila beats Baghdad and Cap City loses, then Manila wins outright and Manila is in.
• If Baghdad beats Manila and Cap City wins, then Cap City beat Baghdad and Cap City is in.
• If Baghdad beats Manila and Cap City loses, then Baghdad wins outright and Baghdad is in.

Get it? Got it? Good.

The Last Week

Of course, the last week of the regular season will ROCK. Some awesome games...

• Baghdad at Manila - A lot of the experts had already written off last year's champions, but the DogEaters are back and they are angrier than ever. The CrossDressers had better pull out their best gown because the loser of this one will sit out the playoffs.
• Capital City at Matunuck - The Tool are in excellent tiebreaker position in the East. They have beaten Baghdad and Manila straight up. Cap City needs a win to stay in the picture.
• Vegas at Sioux City - The Vermin should beat the bland Salsa... they better if they hope to stay in contention. A win here would make the Salsa season just a little bit sweeter.
• Diablo at Elk Grove - The Cougar have beaten all the good teams necessary to make the playoffs, now they have to beat the Spawn. Joliet awaits the answer.
• Bolingbrook at Joliet - How bad was it for Joliet last week? They would have lost last week to Bolingbrook. Yikes! Anyway, the Byrds have to beat the BigHops (and pray for a Elk Grove loss) to have any chance at second place in the West.
• West Chicago at Aruba - This game would normally be "game of the week", but with all the playoff shenanigans, it's more of a sideshow. The winner claims the regular season title and gets first pick in the playoff expansion draft. I doubt West Chicago wants to go into the playoffs on a 3 game losing streak.

Playoffs start Saturday. YOW!

yow, bill