Somewhat Damaged

Jan 24, 2000... Bill Krieger

Quote of the Day

Yeah, well at least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

There WAS nothing wrong with it until I was about 12 years old,

and that no-talent ass clown became famous and began winning Grammies.

- M Bolton, "Office Space"

The Haves

As a newcomer to the "have not" club, I look up jealously at the "haves":

• Little Diablow Danny Bruessell was all happy with his 358 nibls last week (an amazing feat given that Dan Majerle stuck him with 27) and another 100 nibl week from Shaq Daddy. Then Cancun slowly, calmly reached down and pulled his nuts off with a record-breaking (sorry Joliet) 405 nibls. How the hell do you score 405 nibls? Well, an easy 110 nibls out of Antwain Jamison doesn't hurt. Huh? When will this lie end?

• And then there's our friends to the west... West Chicago that is. You'd think if Don could conjure 326 nibls out of his Grizzlie-addled lineup, he'd be able to beat a team that has one victory all year. But Vegas pulled a dandy 97 nibls out of Clifford Robinson (huh again) and paddled the lousy WifeBeaters 353-326. Cool... I'm always heartened to see one of my fellow losing brothers in the East disappoint a near-contender. Oops, wait a minute... I'm a game out of last place now... shit!

• Joliet had an off-week with 286 nibls... fortunately Aruba was in town. The once-mighty thong (lower case) were led in scoring by future superstar Alan Henderson with 59 nibls. For me, the only thing worse that Hakeem being injured all these weeks, is not being able to figure out if Keith Van Horn is injured or not. Oh well, maybe he's just drowzy.

• Oh yeah, Elk Grove and Shakopee lost again. Maybe these guys would benefit from a little re-organization. How about Elk Pee and Shako-Grove? Maybe not.

Let's wrap it up with some weekend TV analysis:

• Blackhawks home game on ESPN Friday night... franchise record low 11 shots on goal. Goddamn, that's like one shot per five minutes.

• Kids in the Hall marathon... excellent.

• Late in the 4th quarter, 3rd and forever and Tony Dungy wants 15-minutes-of-fame Sean King to throw the ball. Oops.

• I continue to salute the NF of L for their balls. What other entertainment venue can completely stop the action for five minutes so some old white guy can look into a video display with a curtain over his head and make the obviously wrong call? America loves football. Geez.

Lyrics of the Day

A quick verse from Mr. Reznor from the new Nails. It's better

Mutter these to yourself screaming progressively louder with each verse...

Excellent.

yow, bill

PS - Almost forgot... went to the Bull-Piston game Saturday afternoon. Got me some excellent 4th row seats at about half-face off at ebay... saw Grant Hill fall on his ass, couple a beers and a weener, and even got a Bull victory out of the thing. Life is good.