Alright, Beat This
2001... Young Bill Krieger
This quote works on many levels:
"Weakness is provocative"
- Donald Rumsfeld, W's new Sec of Defense
Beat the Beaters... Please
Don Fenton... I know, I know... I get more email any
time I mention Don and his dreaded West Chicago platoon. So, before I
get started, let me tell you that Don and the Beaters are as
irritating to me as all the rest of you. I just glimpsed the subject
header for Don's lineup email this week ("Just back from Hawaii
and two more wins!"), and I shudder.
So, let's look at the Beaters:
- The Beaters lost their first two games (including
a game to the MIGHTY Thong) and have since rattled off 13 straight
- Don's lead in the West is now a virtually
unassailable 3 games. In fact, playing the creampuffs in the West,
West Chicago is two games better than anyone else in the league.
- I guess it goes without saying that this season
will extend Don's reign as the best all-time NIBL record.
Well, if your cup is half full... 5 of Don's last 10
games are against the three runners-up in the West: Tucket, the
Ripper, and Shaq Grove. So, anything is possible... but probable? No.
Don's in the playoffs.
For this week, however, the hopes of the free world
rest on the puny shoulders of Diablo Danny Bruessel. Can Danny stop
the Beater juggernaut? Well, anything is... oh, forget it.
Submitted for your approval... a little twist on the
"quote of the day" concept... I present "Picture of the
- Rashard Lewis celebrating Gary Payton's
injuries and bad attitude
with many many nibls for the MIGHTY Thong
First, a note to all movie reviewers and the Oscars
regarding "Hidden Dragon, Crotching Tiger"...
It's a stupid Kung Fu movie, for Christ's
Thanks. I'm okay now.
Did anyone else see the previews for Arnold
Schwarzenegger's new movie "Vacation Man"? Looked pretty
good... Arnold is posing as a common ordinary guy named
"Don", but he's really a secret agent caught in a web of
international intrigue. He tries to do good, but is sent unwittingly
to one vacation spot after another by the evil forces of anarchy.
Vacation Man: (Please apply your best Austrian
accent) "Where am I? Why am I here?"
Bad Guy: (Arab or German or something):
"You're on vacation again, Don."
Vacation Man: "But why, I just got back from
Bad Guy: "That's right"
Vacation Man: "But I can't... I have
important superhero work to do." [flexes muscles]
Bad Buy: "Settle down... your parents are
right here with you."
Vacation Man: "On vacation... with my
parents... again! Aaaaahhhhhh! Fuck you ass-hooooollllll"
[Arnold falls into special effects vortex of sun, sand and fruity
Pretty good preview... I think that was Buffy the
Vampire-Chick playing the role of Vacation Man's girlfriend. She's
left alone, unprotected at Vacation Man's arctic home while he
literally cracks the coconut of all his travel mysteries.
Girlfriend: [on the phone] "When are you coming home? It's
cold over here!"
Vacation Man: "What did you say? I dropped
the phone... suntan oil, you know."
Girlfriend: "Don, please come home!"
Arnold: "Can't talk now honey... I have to
meet Mom and Dad at the buffet. Mmm Papaya..."
"Mom! Dad! Watch out for that
- Arnold Schwarzenegger as a palm
tree explodes in "Vacation Man"... coming soon!
The Teams Worse than West Chicago
I guess it's okay to spend a few keystrokes on the
rest of the league. Okay , Don?
- Second best team in the NIBL right now? Gotta be
the NIBL's friendliest team: the MIGHTY Aruba Thong. The Thong
story is sort of a diluted version of the Beater's travails. Aruba
started the season 1-3 and since the return of second-round pick,
Jalen Rose, Aruba is 9-2... including a painful 4 nibl loss to
Vegas. The Thong have averaged just shy of 350 nibls over the last
- Shocker in Cap City last week as Napa grappled
first place in the East from the struggling Tool squad by a meager
two nibls. Came down to Raef LaFrentz on a hot Saturday night in
Toronto... Napa needed 22 nibls from Raef LaFrentz and got 24.
Napa leads the East and Cap City falls into a tie for second place
with the surging Aruba Thong.
- While Don Fenton glides, the rest in the West
continue to beat the crap out of each other. Tucket currently
holds second place, but Rip City and Elk Grove are right there.
Rip City may have found gold playing the Houston backcourt of
Francis and Mobley. A happy and healthy Shaq and McDyess will make
Elk Grove really really tough to beat.
- Kudos to cellar-dweller Manila on a four
game jag, including a victory over front-runner Cap City. The
DogEaters have gone from a potential Shaq lottery candidate to one
game under 500. Rip City is quaking in his boots this week.
Final thanks to the boys at Microsoft... played with
FrontPage 2000 and got it to delete most of www.williamt.com
for a couple hours. Party on boys!