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Heir to the Plainfield Throne

Young Bill Krieger (Feb 3, 2003)


"Some day lad... all this will be yours"

- Father to son in "The Holy Grail"

Birth Announcement and Interview!

Born Feb 2, 2003: Carter Joseph Reed to father Rob, mother Sheri and sister Josie Reed.

That's right. Plainfield plutocrat, RobReed, has spawned his long-awaited heir to the Plainfield franchise.

I had the distinct pleasure of meeting Carter an hour or so after his birth, and to my surprise, he had quite a bit to say...

Me: Hey CJ, congrats on the whole birth thing, man.

Carter: Don't "man" me and don't call me CJ, short pants.

Me: Er, okay. Well, Cart-man, how does it feel to be second in line to the mighty Plainfield PlayMaker franchise... one of the Nibl's prized jewels.

Carter: I swear, I'll jump right out of this crib... the name is Carter. You don't look all that bright, but I have confidence that you can at least get my name right. As far as the PlayMakers are concerned, I hope to right that ship by next year's draft.

Me: What changes do you expect... um... Carter?

Carter: Well, let me just say this: I don't think the old man will be picking Troy Hudson in the 4th round next year. I don't care if Dad hoisted a few with the guy down at Southern; we need more than 20 nibls a shot out of our fourth round pick.

Me: Hmm... sounds like prudent analysis.

Carter: Listen, don't get all puffy over there, Thong boy... last I checked I've played as many NBA games in 2003 as Grant Hill, so who's analyzing who here.

Me: Good point.

Carter: Listen, I'm hungry. And before you make a crack about where I'm heading for my next meal, remember this. In about 18 years, Tyler and I will both tower over your near-sixty year old tired-as-dirt ass, so watch yourself.

Pretty meaty stuff there... I look for big things from Plainfield in the Nibl years to come. 

BTW, Carter and mom and dad are happy and healthy. Seeing Carter a couple hours after he was born was great, and I found him to be unusually handsome. He quietly absorbed all the new sensory information that he was getting so shortly after leaving the womb. Outstanding... congrats to the whole Reed family!





[Expletive] embarrassment!"

- Bill Cartwright on Marcus Fizer, Chicago Bull and 

newly-acquired Point Blank power forward

Unlucky Week 13?

Tough week 13 for some of the favorites... and Point Blank:

  • Shakopee 343, Point Blank 229 - Huh?!
  • Seattle 279, DuPage 219 - Our other 1-11 team also notched a second victory. DuPage is in disarray. You know, Seattle ain't as bad as their record. Don Fenton's Dad has outscored junior by nearly 250 nibls this year. Speaking of...
  • Capital City 315, West Chicago 252 - The nightmare continues for West Chicago. Vince Carter finally returns to tally a tiny 43 nibls for the week. The Beaters are 4-9 and 3 losses away from their first losing season in Nibl history. Reaction from the evil one, "We're rebuilding. Ya know, like the Bulls."
  • Manila 319, Cancun 275 - The annual battle of the Denises (or battle of the bitches, depending on your news source) goes to Manila this year. I had the displeasure of overhearing Manila's victory call to Cancun. I haven't heard swearing like that since Homer and Kodos were on the Springer show.
  • Nantucket 316, Napa Valley 302 - Shaq! The big fella tossed in 101 nibls for the comeback Bucket win. Beware Walla and Diablo... the Diesel is coming for you!
  • Vegas 328, Rip City 323 - Nice try Rippers, but Marbury says "no win for you" with a tasty 48 nibl Saturday night nail. The fucking Vermin are on a tear. Vegas has averaged 357 nibls a game for the past 5 weeks. Shit. This week's "low" score of 328 was done with T-Mac sitting out a game.  Vegas Tommy continues to trumpet his guarantee... "I will sweep the West". Just two to go for the Vermin: Cancun and Diablo.
  • Walla Walla 340, Plainfield 276 - The leader in West continues its high-scoring ways as well. Plainfield swoons.
  • Diablo 293, Aruba 267 - Juwan Howard's early ejection garnered the Thong a 2 nibl game, and that was that. Diablo won the battle of second-place teams. "Aruba, as ever, over-rated. It was an easy victory," said Diablo Danny. Grant Hill expected to be out 406 more weeks... didn't they say that 4-6 weeks ago?

Back to that Shakopee win for a second... the Shysters seem to have a lineup now. Stephen Jackson of San Antonio (I know, look him up) poured in 66 nibls for the week. The stars of Shakopee are finally starting to shine: Gasol (91 nibls), Abdur-Rahim (79 nibls), Bibby (69 nibls). I think Steve may dish out some disappointment for a few more teams in the second half.

As if losing by a hundred and fourteen fucking nibls to Shakopee weren't bad enough, Point Blank is blanking out of luck:

  • Point Blank snarfs Marcus Fizer off the ash heap... one game later Bill Cartwright calls his 12 nibl performance a fucking embarrassment... the next game he blows out his knee
  • Hubie Brown takes over the Griz and proclaims Murder forward Drew Gooden, persona non grata... shit, the FBI can't even find this guy
  • 5 nibl and 4 nibl losses to West Chicago and Walla, respectively
  • The controversial "Al Harrington" loss to the Thong
  • The 75 nibl Vegas shellacking and subsequent taunting
  • And now, Jason Kidd's tweaked

Ay Carumba! I like to see newbies humbled as much as anyone, but this is ridiculous. Maybe Point Blank can recover next week... hmm, PB at Plainfield... I see Plainfield scoring about 360 in that one.

nibl... yow, bill

PS - For congrat purposes only, RobReed's email is:





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