Jackass of the Year
Jun 29, 1999
You know, I try to stay positive. "Positivity," I always tell Holly, "it's key." In my 37 years of research the human variable that I have found to most closely correlate with personal happiness is a positive outlook. This factor seems to be even more important that you health because I've seen plenty of healthy people who are wigged out. I would probably rank self-respect or self-esteem a close second, but positivity... it's key.
So, I make positivity a priority in my life. In search of positivity (or more accurately to avoid negativity), I generally don't watch the 10 o'clock news (flip between Howard Stern and the Simpsons... how's that for culture). I don't usually listen to sports radio shows... all bitching, all the time. Smile, don't frown... that's an easy rule. Be polite, and so on, you get the idea.
Importantly, I generally don't bother commenting on the baltantly ignorant or stupid. Why bring yourself down? It's not like you're going to change some balthering idiot by yapping about it, so let it slide. But...
Then again, there's an exception to every rule. I mean, well here... here it is... from Saturday's Tribune:
Now let me give Marcus Camby a break here... maybe he was high, or breaking NCAA rules or something, but the Knicks better than Michael Jordan and the Bulls? All the losers in the NBA (Knicks, Pacers, Heat, Jazz, Barkley, and on and on) had six tries at the Bulls... and they all lost. And the Knicks, the Knicks probably got the worst of it with all their trash-talking and Spike Lee and Michael spanking them in the Garden all those times.
So, Marcus, please attain a moment of clarity... grab it! The Knicks never did beat, never will beat, and never would have beaten Michael Jordan and the Bulls. However, for the outrageousness of your observation and for your downright silliness, I present you with the first (and last) yowbill "Jackass of the Year" award. Enjoy!
Jackass of the Year
Ahh. That felt good. Now, back to my positive existence.
PS - I have them right here, so I might as well pass it on... Steve Kerr's 1999 playoff stats. In the Spurs 4 playoff series, 11 games, 97 minutes of floor time, Steve Kerr attempted 30 field goals and made 8 of them. That's a wopping 2.2 points per game or 24 total points for the playoffs. Four rings in a row... Congratulations Steve!
PPS - Oops. That wasn't very positive either now was it. Hmmm.