Payton34 Fantasy Football 2015  

Let's Go!

Hey now. Welcome to the 2015 season of the Payton34 Fantasy Football League.

This is our 10th season of P34 action. Huzzah!

We are a Yahoo league:

Yahoo Fantasy Football

Our reigning Champion (and better in every way) is Angeero and the Plano Tiburon.

Email me for (nearly) all the answers:

Enough already... LET'S GO!

hike... yow, bill

Are you ready for some football!

What, When, Where

This is tentative... for now:

Caste BillSkull
  • What: Payton34 2015 fantasy football draft
  • When: Saturday Aug 29, 2015 @ 3:00pm
  • Where: Castle BillSkull

Draft order

This year's draft order is the opposite of your performance last season... worst picks first.

  1. Aaron - Harper Hawk
  2. Commish - KGG
  3. The Poap - Melonville Larue
  4. Tommy - Van Buren Jag
  5. Jay - Streamwood Streamer
  6. TY - The Party Fish
  7. Drink and draft
  8. Ryan - Butler Jett
  9. Ed - Pawnee Goddess   <~~ newbie
  10. Bill - Naperville Flyer
  11. Rob - Intentional Bearding
  12. Daryl - Lawn Ranger
  13. Myles - CADET
  14. Justin - Mini-Commish
  15. Angeero - plano tiburon

We use the big boy straight draft here at P34, just like the pros. Harper Hawky will pick first each round. Angeero, our Champ, will pick last each round.

We'll probably setup a chatzy chatroom if you can't make the draft in person. Or, you can draft via list. We'll work it out.

Scoring Change

We voted in two changes to our scoring rules this year. Go!

  • Eliminate the 1 fantasy point for kickers for an extra point - to reduce kicker scoring because kickers stink and extra points really stink.
  • Increase yardage scoring to match Yahoo's default values - doubles yardage scoring for RB, WR, TE, and QB. There are 3 parts here:
    1. Increase rushing yardage scoring to 1 point per 10 yards (old was 20 yards)
    2. Increase receiving yardage scoring to 1 point per 10 yards (old was 20 yards)
    3. Increase passing yardage scoring to 1 point per 25 yards passing (old was 50 yards)

What does this all mean? Honestly, I don't know. But here's some data for you to crunch. It shows the impact of the scoring change on 2014 NFL data. I show the top 20 players at QB, RB, WR, and K and then calculate the new versus old scoring totals. "Diff" means the difference in points between the new way versus the old. "Diff %" means percentage different in point between new and old.


I really didn't personally glean much from this data, as far as draft strategy is concerned. Hopefully, you can do better. Or not. Whatev.

Please note: out of 814 XP attempts only 3 were missed. So, I say - Good riddance! Payton34 scoring is now officially more modern than the NFL. (ha)

Thanks to Streamy Jay for sponsoring this change to the rules. Change. Huzzah!

thanks... yow, bill

Cheat sheet

Your better in every way

Woah, Nellie. First things first...

Bow down to the reigning 2014 Payton34 champion... he is your better in every way!

Here, Commish Krieger presents Angeero with the coveted Payton34 trophy. Huzzah!

Angeero Zanofio, Plano Tiburon

Angeero, draft champ!

Congrats Ange. Awesome pow-ah! (and nice shirt!)

BTW, Ange... if you win this year, here's the list you used. Ha!

Draft Results

Excellent draft. Let's roll the videotape.

Here's the Yahoo grabs for our draft:

Round 1-3 ~ Round 4-6 ~ Round 7-9
Round 10-12 ~ Round 13-14

Thanks to Jay for his official transcription of the draft:

Jay draft transcription #1/5 ... Jay draft transcription #2/5 ... Jay draft transcription #3/5
Jay draft transcription #4/5 ... Jay draft transcription #5/5

Hey, make sure you click on Photos at the top. I put our fun draft pics there.

And this link won't last very long, but here's our Chatzy room. Chatzy!

Yahoo grades

Yahoo thinks they're smart. Well, smarter than you and me. Here are their "grades" for every team's draft selections. (whatev)

Yahoo draft grades

You probably already guessed... I posted these grades so we can laugh at them later. Cha!


Loaded With Patriots, Naperville Flyer Needs Work to Reach Playoffs
- Yahoo talking shit about my team

Blow me, Yahoo. We shall see. Ha!

thanks... yow, bill

This one is for Butler and the KGG.

J. E. T. S. Jets, Jets, Jets!

J. E. T. S. Jets. Jets. Jets.

Draft photos

This first batch of photo goodness is from the draft. Huzzah!

Draft men: Daryl, Aaron, and Justin
The Harper Hawk (Aaron), The Mini (Justin), and The Lawn Ranger (Daryl)

Draft men: Jay and Rob
Streamer Jay and The Intentionally Beardy
Sorry Jay, I tried to Photoshop your eyes open, but...

Draft men: Commish, Angeero, and Larry
KGG (The REAL Commish), Plano Ange, and Van Buren Larry

Draft men: TY!
The Party Fish (TY) in his Beast Mode jersey

Weeners at the draft
Weeners at the draft

Plano hat
Plano victory hat!

Plano victory!
Plano Ange, winner! Naperville Bill, not.

I forgot to solicit pictures so I had to improvise with our remote drafters. Go!

Draft men: Pawnee Ed!
Here's the noob, Pawnee Ed.
Tall, handsome and winning... Ed married my daughter 2 weeks ago. Huzzah!

Draft men: The Poap and Myles
Melonville (The Poap) and CADET (Myles)
... as Michelangelo envisioned them on the Sistine Chapel ceiling (perhaps)

And finally, a picture of the elusive Butler Jett. In the photo below, paparazzi catch Butler Ryan in line to see Straight out of Compton for the fifth time. Yo yo yo.

Draft men: Butler Ryan
Butler Jett (Ryan)
Known pseudonyms: "The Butler" and "Ry$$$" (pronounced "Ry money")
Interests: hip hop, saying "jiggy with it", and mini-golf


thanks... yow, bill

Please email me any fun photos you have. Like this one:

TY with a blue tongue

A more famous tongue... Gronk! Patty! Super Bowl!

Gronk tongue!

Some blather

Oct 6, 2015

We changed our scoring this year for the first time in forever. The so-called: Jay Scoring Changes (tm). I wrote a tiny snippet about how the change is impacting league scoring so far.


After 4 weeks, I guess it's worth:

  • Undefeated - Two teams are undefeated at 4-0: Naperville and Plano. Hmmm. I thought Plano, our reigning champion, picked last in the draft. Wha happen? Click on "Draft" up at the top and you can see the Yahoo grades for these two teams: Naperville C, Plano D. Blow me, Yahoo!
  • Winless - Two teams are winless at 0-4: Melonville and Intl Beard.

thanks... yow, bill

Payton34 2015 All-Star Team

Oct 27, 2015

Here we are after week 7, the halfway point of our season. Here are the point leaders so far, your P34 All-Star team.

  • QB - Tom Brady (nwe), CADET, 155 pts
  • WR - Julio (atl), Streamwood Streamer, 109 pts
  • WR - D Hopkins (hou), Streamwood Streamer, 109 pts
  • RB - Devonta Freeman (atl), CADET, 153 pts
  • RB - M Ingram (nor), Mini Commish, 96 pts
  • TE - Gronk! (nwe), Naperville Flyer, 89 pts
  • Flex - A Robinson (jag), Mini Commish, 94 pts
  • K - S Hauschka (sea), Party Fish AND B McManus (den), CADET, 56 pts
  • Def/ST - Seattle (sea), Harper Hawk, 64 pts

Easily, the best pick of the draft: the CADET selection of D Freeman (atl) in round 11. Oh my! The All-Star selections of Brady (5th round) and A Robinson (7th round) weren't bad either.

Huzzah to the second half!

Devonta Freeman (atl) of the CADET

P34 Scoring - some stats

Nov 3, 2015

After 8 weeks, here are some scoring stats in the league. (yes, this is esoterica in the extreme (ha))


Processing... here are a couple snippets about this data:

  • Pawnee is weird and dominates this patter... score a little, score a lot (ha)
  • Most points - Pawnee has scored the most points to win a game (135). That's a pretty hearty score, almost 3 standard deviations (20) above the mean (80)
  • Greatest margin of victory - Unsurprisingly, Pawnee's 135 points gave it the greatest margin of victory all year (63 points)... Week 3: Pawnee 135, Mini Commish 72
  • Fewest points to win - Pawnee has also score the least points to win a game (42)
  • Lowest scoring game - Unsurprisingly again, Pawnee's 42 points came in the lowest scoring game of the year... Week 5: Pawnee 42, Lawn Ranger 40 (82 total points)
  • Closest game - Only one game has been decided by 1 point... Week 3: Butler 105, Melonville 104
  • The bogey - 95 points is your bogey each week. Since 92/93 is the median winning score, you'll usually win when you score 95 points or more
  • 100 points - About 20% of time, teams have scored 100 or more points (23/112=20.5%)
  • 100 point losers - Only two teams have scored 100 points and lost: Melonville in week 3 above and Naperville in week 8

That's it. That's enough.

thanks... yow, bill

PS - Drew Brees (nor) scored a season-best 46 points in week 8 for the Streamer throwing for more than 500 yards and 7 TD passes. Hey now!

Drew Brees of the Streamer

Final Standings

Here ya go:

Final standings of the 2015 regular season

And here's the final version of game scoring stats for the season.


Some tasty numbers from those scoring stats for you to chomp on:

  • 80 - the average team score this year (on the button)
  • 92 - the median winning score... put 93 up on the board and you usually win
  • 135 - high score of the year, Pawnee Goddess in week 3
  • 31 - low score of the year, Butler Jett in week 11
  • 107 - the highest losing score, week 8: Mini Commish 118, Naperville Flyer 107
  • 42 - the lowest winning score, week 5: Pawnee Goddess 42, Lawn Ranger 40

thanks... yow, bill

Go Team!

Texans cheerleaders - no emaciated, excellent!

All-Payton34 Team

Here's your 2015 All-Payton34 team... the guys at each position with the most Yahoo-points.

2015 All-Payton34 Team

Pos Player (NFL team) Team Points
QB Tom Brady (nwe) CADET 283
WR Antonio Brown (pit) Lawn Ranger 177
WR D Hopkins (hou) Streamwood Streamer 172
RB D Freeman (atl) CADET 185
RB AP (min) Van Buren Jag 171
TE Gronk! (nwe) Naperville Flyer 142
Flex Odell Beckham, Jr (nyg) CADET 170
K Robbie Gould (bear) plano tiburon 88
Def Denver plano tiburon 90

So, your 2015 P34 MVP is Tom Brady of the (first place) CADET!

Honorable mention:

  • QB - Cam (car), Naperville Flyer, 265 pts
  • WR - Julio Jones (atl), Streamwood Streamer, 169 pts
  • WR - Allen Robinson (jag), Mini Commish, 169 pts

The picks of the draft go to our first-place team THE CADET (surprise!). Myles got MVP Tom Brady in the 5th and D Freeman, the best RB in the land, in the 11th round.

Of the 6 position players (WR/RB/TE), 4 of them were first-round selections. (yawn)

Defending champ Plano stood out with the best kicker and defense. Ange paid 9th round $$$ for his Denver D, which was the 6th defense off the board. But he got Robbie Gould cheap, with the last pick of the 13th round.

That's it. On to zee playoffs!

thanks... yow, bill

Confetti angels?

Denver Bronco cheerleaders, confetti angels?

Wildcard Round

Our top two teams are on a bye: #1 CADET and #2 Naperville Flyer.

The favorites took care of business on wildcard weekend as #3 Streamwood and #4 plano advanced to The Semis.

Streamwood Streamer 93, Van Buren Jag 58

#3 Streamwood got strong performances from QB Blake Bortles (25 points) and RB John Starks (22 points) in a convincing win over the struggling Jag. The Streamer's Carolina defense also scored 18 points. Streamwood will face Naperville in the next round.

Streamwood-Jag boxscore

plano tiburon 88, KGG Football 63

The KGG has struggled with injuries all year long, and wildcard weekend was no different. KGG QB A Dalton and WR V Jackson both went down to injury with zero points each. Meanwhile, Plano's Seattle connection rolled: QB R Wilson (31 points) and WR D Baldwin (26 points). Next up for #3 Plano is the Death Star, #1 CADET!

plano-KGG boxscore

The Semis

The Semifinals this year features the TOP 4 teams in the league. Rock and roll, baby!

  • #4 Plano Tiburon @ #1 CADET
  • #3 Streamwood Streamer @ #2 Naperville Flyer

Here's a quick reminder of the recent past... chomp on this, buster Yahoo!

Back in August, Yahoo graded each team's draft. Ok. Well, our Final Four teams received 3 of the 4 worst Yahoo grades. How about THE CADET. You know those guys... #1 team in the league, scored the most points, busty cheerleader on each arm... well, he got Yahoo's worst draft grade. Nice call, boys.

Yahoo draft grades stink!

Suck it, Yahoo.

plano tiburon 107, CADET 84

Plano's dynamic Seattle duo of QB Russell Wilson and WR D Baldwin combined for 41 points to power Plano into the finals over the #1 CADET. The Tiburon also got 20 points from TE Jordan Reed en route to a convincing victory.

THE CADET stars performed well: T Brady 18, O Beckham Jr 13, DeSean Jackson 21, D Freeman 15. But goose eggs from CADET kicker and defense sealed the top team's fate.

Plano advances and will attempt to repeat as Payton34 champion!

Plano-CADET boxscore

Naperville Flyer 117, Streamwood Streamer 85

Naperville's dominance can be summed up in one word: Cam!

Cam Newton, the NFL's presumptive MVP, tallied 41 points with a mind-boggling boxscore: 5 TD pass, 340 passing yards, and 100 rushing yards. The Flyer also got a generous contribution from the team's kicker (Gosty 12) and defense (Kansas City 18).

Streamwood was led by QB D Brees 26 and good performances from the team's top-rated WR duo: D Hopkins 9 and Julio J 17. But the Streamer's RB and other players largely disappointed.

Streamwood-Naperville boxscore

Congrats to CADET Myles and Streamwood Jay for excellent seasons!

The Championship Game

Get ready to rock. The Championship game is...

  • #4 Plano Tiburon @ #2 Naperville Flyer

Plano is looking to repeat as champion. The title contest will likely be decided at the QB position, featuring the league's two hottest players. Over the last month, Plano QB Russell Wilson is the league's best player (123 points), and Naperville QB Cam Newton is #2 (115 points).

plano tiburon 100, Naperville Flyer 68

Plano win!

The Plano Tiburon manhandled the Naperville Flyer to win the 2015 Payton34 title. That's back-to-back championships for the Tiburon. Holy cats!

Plano was triumphant with the best QB-WR combination throughout the playoffs. The Seattle connection of Russell Wilson to Doug Baldwin tallied 35 points in the title game. The Tib's TE Jordan Reed led all scorers with 24 points.

Naperville MVP (and pretty boy) Cam Newton was finally stymied and doomed the Flyer to runner-up status. The Flyer had lackluster performances across the board, except for 16 points from WR Jordan Matthews.

Let's roll the videotape...

Plano-Naperville boxscore

Congrats to Plano Angeero on another fantastic season. That is AWESOME POWER!

Plano fans celebrated (below) by hoisting the Payton34 trophy and tipping cows in the streets of downtown Plano!

Plano fans celebrate victory!

Zee playoffs!

yow, bill

The Honey Bears

That's a wrap

Here's the final playoff bracket:

P34 playoffs bracket

Two stories dominated the action this year:

  1. Scoring change - the Jay scoring change was a huge success, IMHO. Kickers were diminished, as it should be. QB's were a little more important. It's also a little easier to calculate scores. All in all, the change was very positive.
  2. Plano repeat - Plano became the 2nd team in P34 history to repeat as champion. The first was the Chicago Cake 2012 squad run by TY K. Plano dominated the 2015 playoffs! The team averaged 98 points a contest and beat the #1 and #2 teams in the league (CADET and Naperville) en route to their repeat title.

Our league is 14 teams strong and doing great. Thanks to all for participating, and huzzah to 2016!

thanks... yow, bill

PS - The last NFL team to repeat is the 2005 New England Patriots. This year, the Pattie are looking to repeat as well.

New England Patriots 2005 Super bowl ring

PPS - I can't believe I forgot this. Here's the draft order for next year.

  1. Beard-y rob
  2. Butler Ryan
  3. Melonville Poap
  4. Mini Justin
  5. Lawn Ranger Daryl
  6. Pawnee Ed
  7. TY Party Fish
  8. Harper Aaron
  9. KGG 2016
  10. Van Buren Jag Tommy and Larry
  11. Streamwood Jay
  12. CADET Myles
  13. Naperville Bill
  14. Plano Ange